By not overtly expecting sex, commitment, or even compatibility upfront, and instead focusing on just creating a series of fun, memorable experiences, we had implicitly set the precedent for a approach to dating.
This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.
By sharing it in the comments section below you’ll help out some other seniors.
Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.
She quickly connected us via Facebook, where her friend and I immediately hit it off and subsequently spent the whole weekend together.
New dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel make us log in with Facebook, and they display the mutual friends we share with users on the app, which generates feelings of credibility and trust.
The friendship-first approach centers around sharing fun and memorable experiences with the people we meet, and seeking to learn their stories and their preferences, free of any overtly sexual or romantic expectations.
Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.
Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical.
We kept things friendly and fun rather than expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away.