At the time, I hated to hear this advice because I was that guy—the Muslim in a relationship with a non-Muslim girl that few of my friends knew about.I rationalized this by telling myself we come from different cultural and religious backgrounds that I was not doing this to hurt her.Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re an exception.Here’s the truth, a man on the path to commitment doesn’t hide his beloved from his friends and family."Would you like me to tell you the difference between making love to an Egyptian woman and a European woman? " "Mike", my driver in Luxor, leaned forward and gazed sincerely in my eyes. They have sex for two minutes, just to relieve themselves, and the women lie like boards. Someone who cares about you won’t keep you a secret. In fact, it’s clear to me that you know all that you need to know, you just want someone to affirm it for you. This situation is so common that over the nearly 2 decades of my life as an adult Muslim, it’s almost become cliché. You will lose more often than you win and for every hard-won, heart-wrenching victory born from arguments, tears, anger, lust, and love, there will be a million small and large losses that rob you of your self-respect.I don’t say this to hurt you, but I need to my words to pierce through any illusions you may be swaddling yourself in. When your illusions stop swaddling, and start choking you, and you finally have the strength to end it, you’ll be left half the woman you are now. Leave now while it hurts a little and you still have some dignity.
Perhaps also reach out to couples who have gone through these discussions before, like a non-Muslim/Muslim couple, and ask what they did to overcome these differences.
I am not a Muslim woman though I have much respect for the faith.
For the past 9 months or so I have been dating a dear man from Libya who is here for school on a scholarship.
From the beginning it has been clear that there are obstacles to our being together and we kept it very casual and light, but in the past few months we have become much, much closer and he expressed his love for me, and now I have allowed myself to love him very dearly also.
However, what just happened a couple hours ago brought our true situation very present to me.