The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative.But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.It signals shallowness of emotions rather than strength of love.He elaborates, “Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake… Carver states that Losers often begin with indirect violence—such as demonstratively hitting the wall with their fist or throwing objects—before they start pushing, punching or hitting their partners.You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you.” 6. As we recall, Drew Peterson bought his wife a motorcycle and expensive jewelry even during the period of time when he was criticizing her, throwing her up against the wall, isolating her from her loved ones, accusing her of infidelity and calling her pejorative names.If they were consistently mean or violent, psychopaths wouldn’t be able to hold on to their partners. Carver observes, “The Loser cycles from mean to sweet and back again.
You’ll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures.” Drew Peterson and other dangerous seducers wouldn’t get any partners, much less attractive young women, if they showed their true colors from the very beginning. They deluge their targets with flattery, promises and gifts at the beginning of the relationship.The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean.You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor.He began with criticism, went on to name-calling and moved on to physical violence and (probably) murder. “The Loser,” Carver notes, “has very shallow emotions and connections with others.It’s very important to get away from a Loser at the slightest hint of violence, including verbal aggression, since abuse usually increases in frequency and severity over time. One of the things that might attract you to the Loser is how quickly he or she says ‘I Love You’ or wants to marry or commit to you.