I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on.We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.Many people treat online dating as though they were talking to somebody in a bar.In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.Telling somebody you’re adventurous is similarly unhelpful.
Similarly, we try to divine as much of that information as possible from the dating profile photo and username even before we start in on the dating profile.
You also have to consider where and how to present your best self.
If you’re the sort of person who’s clever and witty, then you want to look more towards a site like OKCupid that lets you display your humor like the tail of an Oscar Wilde-loving peacock.
You have to treat your dating profile as an advertisement; you are, after all, selling yourself to others.
This means that you have to consider your market, what you’re looking for and what makes you, specifically, attractive to others.