Therefore, it’s impossible for them to validate you.
Knowing the other person, genuinely knowing, is the cornerstone of intimacy.
You feel exhilarated because after carefully letting down your guard to someone, this person has appreciated having been given the tremendous gift of you.
You are torn because it would be good to keep the relationship but the feelings just aren’t there. My answer is: Feeling can come back, but the process is backwards from the way it was the first time.
These are the new things that you will be able to talk about.
Your spouse opens the door to intimacy when you know that he/she has heard you.
Your spouse will realize that change goes way beyond no longer being ugly with you.
This may take time, and perhaps help from outside sources. It is akin to noticing how your child is improving in math or picking up a language.