She says she has been doing a lot of reading about it and has a work friend who is in an open relationship and it works for her.I am outraged by the suggestion as I feel it is a major threat to our marriage.She says the idea would be to just "spice things up" and "keep things fresh" and that she thinks it could ultimately bring us closer together.We have a great sex life, which I think she would agree with. I feel like my options are: (1) refuse to play along and hope she can respect that and stay happy and faithful; (2) pursue a divorce; (3) allow her to play outside the marriage while I stay true; or (4) both of us try it and hope for the best. I think I would find it humiliating to tell another person about this, and it might not even help anyway.It puts too much pressure on a couple to have a somewhat routine existence drained of spontaneity and playfulness and then expect sparks in the bedroom.My hunch—from a distance, of course—is that your wife feels something is missing and wants to go outside the relationship to find it. What is she not finding between the two of you that she needs to take such an emotional risk of bringing another partner into it? Sex involves desires that are unconscious, and the latter is always a wild card (which is part of sexuality’s exciting appeal).Are there ways you two can “shake things up” a bit in the romance and sex department?A weekend away, a dance class, a vacation, a little role play?
This “no feelings involved” doesn’t make sense because clearly your wife is expressing some Because of the intensely physical nature of sex, we tend to think of it as outside the spectrum of the day-to-day relationship—its own special category.
He works in a variety of modalities, primarily cognitive behavioral, spiritual/recovery-based, and psychodynamic.
He is certified in eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, and continues to receive psychodynamic training in treating relational trauma, including emotional abuse/neglect and physical and sexual abuse.
My wife says she has thought about it a lot and she thinks she could handle me having intimate relations with another woman.
She says the way she would approach it is with total honesty and communication to make sure everyone feels OK about it.