But what I do have is a very particular set of skills.I hunt, fish, critique porn and thoroughly enjoy getting stoned in the woods with Mary Jane and Jack.Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence.
I like long walks down the beach and …I just wanna make out, cuddle in baggy clothes while watching movies and I dunno maybe put my hand down your pants…
Let’s recreate the Human Centipede and sew your mouth to my butthole.
I’m [Your Name] and I cuddle at a level that should require a paid subscription.
You can also find me on Sniffr (it’s like Tinder but for dogs)5 Stars: “A perfect gentleman” – Anonymous Tinder woman.5 Stars: “Made 50 Shades of Grey seem as tame as the Teletubbies” – Anonymous Tinder Woman1 Star: “Stop asking me for a review you weirdo” – Anonymous Tinder Woman5 Stars: “So sweet” – Mark’s mum So you’re looking for ‘the one’ huh?
but you’ll be so sexually starved when you do that you’ll fu*k him on the first date, he will lose interest, the sweet texts will stop and you’ll be all alone with your pizza rolls swiping left and right again while he dates someone that’s challenging enough to keep his interest for longer than a weekend.