He didn’t have the courage to ask your supercute friend out, but you were cute enough, more attainable, and standing next to her, so voilà.He actually likes you, but he finds your earnest Christian tendencies dampening his enthusiasm.In the meantime, an endless panoply of potentially better choices are just a swipe, click or happy hour mixer away. If you think this is lame and stupid, I wholeheartedly agree. In my naïveté, I even considered one of the ladies to be marriage material. ANTIDOTE: This is not the kind of thing you can prevent or control. The key take-away from this is that you should not take such vanishings personally.As a result, nobody’s willing to invest a whole hell of a lot of themselves in anything. I also urge you to stop doing it yourself, so at the very least you’re part of the solution, not the problem. In the space of one week, one’s aunt died, and the other one’s father committed suicide by drinking Drano. Now, if you’re already pretty well-bonded, these catastrophic events may even make you seek solace and support in one another, strengthening your bond. after first date), it just blows things apart like a roadside improvised explosive device. Even when you’re 100% sure it’s about you, it’s almost never about you.
Therefore, in the early stages of courtship, people in this age of electronic dating are in Merciless Elimination Mode. With that out of the way, let’s talk about why guys go poof. Even if it is about you, thinking that it’s not about you keeps you saner in the long run. He’s bored, and he finds your company marginally more interesting than a night of Archer reruns.When were you planning on taking me out again, big boy? Then I met this really cute, supersmart adventurous grad student at a party. But if we’re going to continue, I like to have depth in my relationships, and it’s difficult to get deep with you if I know there are other women involved.” Then step back, and wait for him to do something. If he doesn’t, give it a couple of days, then try again. We hit it off, the sex was amazing, and now there were four. So if you’d like to keep seeing the other women, that’s fine, and I’ll miss you a lot, but I’ll have to bow out.Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way.One saving grace is that most people, male or female, usually aren’t doing this stuff deliberately.